A Day in the City

Stanford is forcing people to us their vacation. It is a cost savings measure for the University, but it has also been a wonderful excuse to take an extra day off here and there during the summer.

David and I went to the city to see the Ansel Adams Georgia OKeeffe exhibit and SFMOMA. What a perfect day!

We took BART into the city and stopped at Peets. They had decorated the coffee house with an 80's theme.

The museum exhibits were fantastic.

Pictures here.

and now Funerals

I just got back from the hardest funeral I have ever attended. One of the young men who grew up in our neighborhood, went to school and played sports with my children, was killed in a firefighting training accident last week. There has been plenty of publicity about the tragedy and that isn't what I want to dwell on here. Anytime someone so young dies there just aren't words to describe the pain and fear that ripple through one's heart.

But, what was amazing was the sense of community in the church today. The young men and women firefighters - hundreds of them - who came to honor him. The teachers and parents and coaches who came to support the family and each other through this moment in time. And not to get to "preachy" because I hate that -- but the priest's reminder of the promise of a life beyond this one. In whatever form it takes.
-- Amen

...and Anniversaries

After the wedding on Saturday Dave and I headed up the coast to my Mom's place at Sea Ranch. We spent the evening celebrating our own 20 year anniversary.

I suppose I could use this space for my diatribe on the institution of marriage and its purpose in society, but I'm not going to. Not because I don't have a lot to say, because "I do", but because Dave and I had too good a time to spoil it with my own ramblings. We actually enjoyed the drive through traffic together, we made each other laugh, we got up to Sea Ranch and had a wonderful dinner of tuna sandwiches, salt and vinegar potato chips, and beer!

The coast was fog filled, but we saw plenty of deer, jack rabbits, and had a lovely visit from a fox that frequents her yard.

Weddings ...

We went to a wedding this weekend. Brian and Julie's wedding. It was wonderfully affirming. I've been growing rather cynical about life-long commitment lately. You know how sometimes you look at two people and think to yourself "I give it 3-5 years - tops." What you NEVER think that way... well I do... all the time. I suppose it is my age and my stage in life and definitely a topic for another post, but in any event, that wasn't at all what I thought at this wedding.

I thought to myself "Yes! These are two people who are meant to be together!" They are meant to raise children, take care of aging parents, and most importantly to take care of each other. After spending Saturday watching them commit to each other before God and friends, I just might start believing again in the idea that marriage continues to have a place in our in society after all. Gee, I am actually tearing up as I write, but only for "a Hallmark moment"(sniff).

What? Oh, you want to get onto the important stuff.... dresses and food!

Julie looked amazingly lovely. The ceremony was more religious than I anticipated. The best part was when Brian spoke his own vows through tears and then through laughter had written "Julie's vows for her". The second best part was when Brian had the ring bearer bring up a camera so that he could take a picture of the two of them right after they were pronounce "man and wife".

My full set of pictures is here
The wedding was at the Madrona Manor in Healdsburg. The food was amazing! As was the free flowing wine and champagne. I didn't take any pictures of the food (I should have sorry!) but here is the menu

Appetizers
* Tomato and Basil Bruschetta
* Seasonal Fruit Wrapped in Parma Prosciutto
* Full bar, Dry Creek Sauvignon Blanc, Rodney Strong Pinot Noir, Roederer Estate Sparkling White
3-course lunch
* Mixed Green Salad - Everett Ridge Sauvignon Blanc
* Chilled Lobster with melon gazpacho - Ferrari Carano Chardonnay
* Main Course:
o Local Petrale Sole - Dutton Estate Pinot Noir
o Grilled Prime Striploin - Seghesio Zinfandel
o Potato Gnocchi - Dutton Estate Pinot or Ferrari Carano Chardonnay
Cake
* Full bar, Pedro Ximenez Alvear 1927

Dave and I stayed at a B&B called the Camellia Inn right in Healdsburg so we could walk to the "rehearsal dinner" -- another word for party. That party was at the Bear Republic Brewery. I liked the Red Rocket Ale the best and Dave liked the Racer 5 Pale Ale.

Pictures of our room at the B&B. Nice, huh? I didn't take pictures of the whirlpool tub, but it fit two perfectly!

Kids and Adults

When Kara came to visit she said something to me that I have been thinking about. She told me that when she was younger and attending my father's church that "I treated and spoke to her like she was an adult" and she appreciated that. She was an incredibly mature young woman and I liked her spirit even when she was little, but I though about that comment. Maybe that is why, although I love my children tremendously, I much preferred them as they got older.

I was never one for babies or even little kids... don't get me wrong.... I love to smell their heads and nursing both of my girls was an amazing bonding experience. As they got older I liked to make them laugh, read to them and tell them stories, but I really began to enjoy them when they became people with opinions different from mine. When we could discuss adult things... like politics, love, and sex.

I think my mother was much the same way. I remember that Mrs. Cooper, from church, once told her that she treated me too much like and adult and because of that I spoke to adults like an equal. Obviously she didn't appreciate that. Haha! It seems so funny now, but back then children were to be "seen and not heard." Yes, my I remember that my Grandfather would tell us that at the dinner table.

I know that things are changing and that most children are being raised to speak their minds, but even as parents do that they also seem to be protecting their children so much more than before. Just an interesting juxtaposition.

4th of July

Rafting down the Truckee River on the 4th of July has become a tradition in our family. We have our rafts, take our dog, and have a great time.

We have it down to science. Drop one car off at the bottom of the river. Pack everyone in the other car. Go up to the launch area, put on the sunblock, blow up the rafts, and away we go!

This year, like last, we were joined by my brother and my sister-in-law Marcy and nephew Jordan. We had a blast!

Mammoth

We went to Mammoth the scatter Nana's ashes. It was a family affair. We rented a condo with Cath (Dave's sister). We headed though Yosemite and over Tioga pass. We got there Friday evening and just hung out with everyone.

Most people who aren't from CA haven't even heard of Mammoth or they only know it as a ski resort. But, Mammoth is a beautiful area to hike and fish in during the summer. In fact David and I spent our honeymoon almost 20 years ago.

Saturday we headed up to Twin Lakes and rented boats. We had a great time rowing around and the waterfall was lovely. After we hiked up to the old mines below Hart Lake. Most of us made it all the way to the top!



Finally, at 3:30 we all met at Horseshoe Lake to walk back to the place where Pop had his pack station. Coralie (Nana) spent her summers up here as a child with no running water other than a stream near by. It was the perfect place to put her to rest.


Then back for a family picture.


Full picture set.

Kara, Audrey, and Us

I'm sure that you have those friends that you don't see very often, but when you do you always seem to connect in a big way. Well, that is the was it is with Kara. She is truly one of my favorite people. I think it is her spirit and, of course, her wonderful bawdy laugh.

Kara lives in the Netherlands and so we don't see her very often, but she came to visit this June and she brought Audrey, her wife. We had heard all about Audrey on Kara's last visit and were anxious to meet her. In two words "LOVED HER." We had a family dinner at my mother's. It was truly like family. Audrey fit right in. We had a wonderful time together.

I just wished they lived closer.

Facebook and Friends

Facebook is a wonderful thing. I know that people make fun of getting back in touch with high school friends that they never wanted to see again, but not me! I love the fact that I have been back in touch with people that were out of my life for years. I revel in their posts and pictures.

Today I spent time with one of those people and her family. Jenna and I met at Area E Alternative School (later renamed Mid-City) in Los Angeles when I was in 5th grade. Perhaps we drawn to each other because we had the same skinny, gangly, awkwardness that young girls hope to forget in their later years. Whatever it was, we enjoyed sleep-overs and and playing in "the pit" and lamenting the fact that our younger siblings were difficult.


Jenna sitting with my elbow on her head.





And today we connected again as adults. As adults with husbands and children and aging parents. With lots to talk about and memories to share.

It was wonderful to reconnect. Thank you Facebook!

Jenna and Jenn at Lake Tahoe on a short hike with her family.

Early Memorial Day at the Lake

Rule number one when you want to spend a day at Lake Tahoe in your own private cove. Get there early! Dave and I pack up in the morning....Well OK, Dave packs up early in the morning. It takes me 30 minutes to drink my coffee and put on my sunblock - a must before you hit the beach and sun at 6,000+ feet. Dave makes sandwiches and packs our day packs, etc.

We arrive at the lake before 9am. It takes a good 30-40 minutes to hike down from the road to the lake and find the perfect spot. The water is low this year meaning more sandy spots, but bad for the CA water supply.

It is amazing the amount of stuff that you can pack down in two day packs: sun tent, umbrella, one blanket, two towels, lunch, water, reading material, iPods, camera, binoculars.... well you get the picture.

There is nothing better than relaxing with nothing else to do except read, lay in the sun, and catch up on my Fresh Air podcasts.

The weather was picture perfect. Sunny and in the low 70's. Blue sky and puffy white clouds. It was surprisingly empty on both Friday and Saturday. All of the hotels in King's Beach had vacancy signs. The economy is hurting tourism in the area.



We were lucky enough to see a mother with her ducklings and a family of geese with their goslings when we were there.



Some of Dave's pictures from our day.

Grandma's 100th Birthday

My Grandmother just turned 100! We celebrated in style at my Aunt's house where my grandmother lives. Currently there are 5 generations in one household. My Grandmother, my Aunt, her daughter - Becky, two of Becky's children (Fawn and Cheyenne), and Fawn's two children. Don't worry, the house is big enough to hold them all and my uncle is an extremely wonderful man! Although my Aunt Ilene gets the award in my book for patience and acceptance.

My Grandmother gets around with her walker and is still completely alert and talkative. The only problem is her hearing. It could be better, but she refused to purchase new hearing aids when she was about 90. She didn't think it was worth the investment... ha! She occasionally doesn't feel well and demands to be taken to the hospital. The last time this happened was the day before her party. She woke up and told Ilene that she wanted them to call an ambulance. When Ilene told her that everyone was coming for her birthday party the next day she responded, "Oh, well then, I guess I feel alright after all."

So what day in May do celebrate this auspicious occasion? Well, we aren't exactly sure what day. My Grandmother has always celebrated her birthday on May 19th. Social Security has her birthday down as May 16th. My Aunt had been going through old papers a few days before and found my Grandmother's birth certificate. It had the date of May 21, 1909. Grandma was very upset over the birth certificate discrepancy. "My mother told me I was born on the 19th!"

Me....I'm not upset... I know her real birthday is the 19th. I mean wouldn't you trust a mother's word over the government's?

More pictures

Mom's Night Out

When I was having my kids almost 20 years ago, the concept of a "mom's night out" didn't exist in my world. Now, I don't know if it existed in some other world where husbands did half the childcare and cleaned the house, but not in my world.

Not that I'm complaining. My husband gave me lots of breaks, but they came in the form of taking the girls for walks or keeping them entertained at the beach so I could read.

And as my children got older and the concepts of "play dates" and "mommy and me" became popularized I scoffed at the these overly structured parenting activities. Weren't you just supposed to throw your kids outside in the backyard on a nice day and lock the door for a few hours? That is what my mom did and since none of my peers had children when I did, I had no other role models -- at least that is my excuse.

Anyway, about the time the notion of "play dates" hit it's peak, another idea also became popularized -- "mom's night out." This isn't a bunch of friends getting together for a good time. It is an organized structured outing. Thank god, at this point my children were well into two digits and I felt no need to participate.

However, last night my sister-in-law called me up she was excited "I'm going to my mom's night out! You know I told you. Your brother's watching the kids. It is over by your house. Did you want to come?"

So, I found myself at BJ's one of those awful chain restaurants that have taken over suburbia and are now even moving into downtown areas to punish everyone. The table was filled with women my age (OK maybe a little younger) all of whom had had children no older than 5. Hmmmmm so the conversations went something like:

Some pregnant woman who looks like she will pop any moment, "Oh, We just went to pre-kindergarten day for Jamie. It was so much fun, but I hope he is emotionally ready for school." Me "Oh, I get my daughter from college in a couple of weeks. I don't know if I am emotionally ready for her to come home."

Another woman with tattoos on her shoulder, "We don't know what to do about Darcy's potty mouth." Me "Yea, the potty mouth thing is tough. I don't know what to do with the morning after pill prescription that I found in my 16 year old's bedroom." I actually sort of hoped that she might have a suggestion for me, but I guess the tattoos were just for show.


OK, so the conversations probably didn't really happen quite that way, if at all, and I actually did have fun, but I definitely had more fun when my sis-in-law came back to my house just the two of us for a little "wine and whine"........ We can try to organize fun and friendships, for our kids and for ourselves, but it isn't the same as finding a true friend who is there for you no matter what.

Prom

I've never been to prom. When I was prom age I was in my anti-establishment mode and you wouldn't have caught me dead at prom. Prom was for valley girls and cheerleaders and certainly not for me. Think "Breakfast Club" and that might paint a picture for you.


But, now that I am 41, I have shopped for at least four prom dresses. We have have sent our girls off to various incarnations of this special dance every spring for the past three years. They have gone with boyfriends, friends and lovers.

It has been an exciting time of anticipation and preparation. Each time they head out the door I realize that this is a letting go exercise for me. I am watching them grow up and learn how to make choices about all kinds of things both important and mundane. Choices about dresses, about dancing (to freak dance or not to freak dance), about partners, and choices about being safe.

Alyssa is home this morning safe and sound and sore from dancing. She has at least one more prom to go. Which means I do too. I'm actually looking forward to it, but thank god I have a year in between.

Olympia: Last Day

Dave and I headed out for a walk around the lake that is below the Washington State Capital Building. Yes, if you didn't know it, Olympia is the Washington State capital. The lake was pretty and after our major 2 day eating fest we needed more exercise.

We went and picked Alyssa up and said our good-byes. These were much easier than our first good-byes over six months ago.
As a parent I suppose that I could have only seen the messy apartment, the nude drawings of everyone living in the house - including Mikey Badger - the clothes and dirty dishes, the boys in and out and over at all times. But, along with the mess, and I would be lying to say I ignored the mess, what I saw was my amazing child growing up with an open heart and an open home. I saw young women exploring their bodies, their lives, and their ability to make choices about all of those things. I saw that they had created a place that people wanted to be -- where people wanted to spend their time; and I was so very proud.

Olympia: Hike and more

Our second day we decided to get out of town and head up to Olympic National Park. The day before we had stumbled on a great outdoor and ski store and bought a hiking guide to the area. "Whitey", a nice young blonde dreadlocked man at the store, spent time talking us through some good spots and warning us that it was the very beginning of the season so some things might not be open. Good words of advice since our first hike was closed.

We ended up at Lake Cushman and did the Big Creek Loop Trail. It was fantastic! Not too long (4.6 miles) and just the right amount of strenuous climb to make me lightly sweat (1200 ft over 1.5 miles), but not so much that I had to rest.

Great waterfalls and wildflowers.

We also found trolls under one of the many bridges! Luckily we didn't "trip, trap, trip trap" across the bridge too loudly. No one was eaten.

More pictures of the hike.

We took the girls out to dinner at Darby's. The place is an Olympia icon. The waiter was the best... as was the food.

Olympia: Procession of the Species

Since we have been showing Alyssa colleges we thought is was time to let her visit her sister who is actually living the college life. Although I was more than happy to put her cute little behind on the plane and send her up on her own, David decided that maybe she wasn't quite ready to navigate it without us. So, I bought cheap tickets and booked a hotel room for "mom and dad" and we packed our bags.

It turned out that we were hitting Olympia during their "Procession of the Species" parade day. Bethany's roommates came down for it and we had a blast. What the heck is it? "The Procession of the Species is a joyous, spontaneous artistic pageant where community members celebrate their relationships with each other and with the natural world."

After a beer at the Fish Tale Brew Pub, we headed out for a walk downtown. We came across the FireSide Bookstore and had to stop in. Jane Laclergue is the proprietor and her charming husband was there as well. We talked about books, brothels, and earthquakes. The store is in the Olympian Hotel building. Although it is no longer a hotel, it was once the place where all of the politicians stayed and the call girls were flown in from Vegas! It was also damaged in the 2001 Olympia earthquake (6.8), but it looks great now.

Easter 2009

Easter this year was a mellow affair. Bethany didn't come home from school and since we were getting ready to head down to LA to look at colleges for Alyssa the next day, we kept things low key.

My mother and I felt the need to attend church. That Lutheran thing lives deep in our bones. We have been enjoying attending St. Marks in San Francisco occasionally and decided to go to their Easter celebration.  The church was packed with over 400 people by my estimation. The service was great and the music wonderful. 

Picture from St. Marks website http://stmarks-sf.org/

We went back home to a wonderful dinner of ham, potato salad, asparagus, and lemon cheesecake for dessert. The food was great. I was worried that I would miss the noise and chaos of a full house during a holiday dinner, but the company of just David, Brooks, my mom, and Alyssa was actually wonderful.